Shallow waters

A long time ago, in my heart, was the desire to be financial well off so that I can be a blessing to others. Hoho I thought it was a vision that I only realise (it just burnt within my heart and I know that if this vision wasnt from God, it would wither and die...), then, today, I remembered something long ago. I was about 15+ and that small little dream I had was imprinted to my heart. Over time I guess I generally grew to have compassion on people.

I really hate it when people see what value is that person to him/her than what value is that person to God. It's all about, how far all my 'connections' can lift me up, open doors for me etc. Yes it's true that God does bless us through 'connections', there was so many times where 'connections' help me through application process, assignments, etc but what matters is what my intentions are in the first place.

Please, I've had my share bit of 'people who befriend you because you are influential' and if they think you dont make an impact/arent influential enough/not at a higher social status, then they just forget about you. That's crap! and I've had my share of them in school, church, uni etc, I know they wont stick to you when it's raining season and I know some dont believe you'll even make it.. It's shallow...

Sigh, I really need a break away from some people.
And what's the point always wanting to be the dominant character in every conversation and be satisfied only when all attention is placed at you? Grow up..

Sigh, it's so much better to come back to IH get a rest, and watch movie with friends and chat with friends instead of playing silly politic games of attention (of putting people down etc) . Why should I be with people that I'm unhappy with at the moment? It's sort of a promise I told myself, you dont like the situation, leave instead of keeping everything inside. Yes, Non-Christian friends are also comforting. Hmmm... maybe it's cos they dont expect kindness from you.