Zzzzz
Hmmm has anyone done 2624 before? Muahahaa if you can, gimme your answers. OHOHOHO, the last round, I had Camei's book with answers... but she only gave me half the book! (cries).
1 Corinthians 15:33 : Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."
Anyways... today, I just cutoff another(hmm has there been anyone else? Oh ya!) person from my life. Yes, call me selfish, self-centered or cruel, whatever... but unless youre in my position, say what you wanna say. (I realize that people who drag you down, stay away) Anyways this person has been the part of the source of alot of grief for me last semester, how I cried so much because some people are soo messed up about God. But anyways what's worst is that I became a dumping ground for people garbage, insecurity, self-pity, frustration, discontentment with other people etc.etc.. (hmm maybe I was crying for myself, how I'm so nice and sweet that people take advantage of my kindness... AHEM)
Puh-leaseee seriously, I dont mind hearing your sadness and pain but when it comes to dumping everything on me without wanting to hear my advice, it's a one way traffic, dont you think? What's worst, the person's thinking is sooo distorted, its all wrong. (he insists he's right though)
Today, as a test, I asked that person to gimme his answers for this week's tute, he said that he worked so hard on it... blabla I might get marks for things I didnt do, blabla and what worst, asked me what I'm willing to give in return. Hah... no wonder people like this feel like they are alone in this world and nobody loves them. Boohooo... I told him to get a life. End of story. (Puhlease, my friend ask me to lend her my answers, I got up early to give it to her and even help explain to her... whoa~ so sweet ><) Sorry God, but I had enough tolerating people that I give my all to but then they give me crap in return. Please, I deserve better. Any Christians wanna debate?
posted by Stephanie at 2:21 AM
1 Comments:
Dear Steph,
I felt deeply saddened to read this blog entry of yours, and I did'nt realise how much grief I've caused u last Semester. However, what's worse is that u have decided to cut me off completely from your life & portrayed me so negatively.
I understand sometimes I can be quite needy & paranoid about ppl, but u failed to see that I too have my merits. Everyone has good & bad sides, and unfortunately things have turned out such that u have seen only my dark side, but not the other side.
Perhaps I failed to mention that God is working in my life. It's a struggle. I'm watching "Good Will Hunting" & been praying so many times for the ability to love ppl & have true joy & fulfilment in my relationships with ppl. I am very sorry for causing u all these grief & pain.
Let me say this-I really need to work on being willing to "give to those who ask u, & if anyone asks for your cloak, let him have ur tunic as well..." I know that selfish ppl will not enter Heaven.
I've spoken to the Dean of my College (he's also a counselor) & he advised me not to just expect to receive, but rather to give, in a friendship. I felt quite guilty & bad for being so closed up in this shell of mine, I think I should "open my heart to other ppl" (as one of my other Malaysian friends said). I'm trying to but it will take a lot of effort (and I'm REALLY TRYING).
I would like to chat with u online but unfortunately u have blocked me, so I really dunno. Maybe we are never meant to be friends at all. If u really want me to get out of your life, it's ok. I'm very sorry that our paths crossed.
Let it be to God to decide.
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