HELPPPPP

SOS! I came back from uni about 9.30pm.... the latest I've stayed on grounds of 'academic' event! NOO! Doing work for a crazy report and presentation due this Thursday is not fun (I even have to miss shopping at Coles with Henny!). Try walking with a painful leg up and down uni with a laptop! It's not enjoying and my leg HURTSS (due to the stupiak bet to walk to and fro from Bondi...now I feel like a fool)
And I come back, realizing some parts of work havent been done for another report and presentation due tomorrow. (WOAH 2 major report and presentations due on the same week!). And when can I finally start studying?!?!?!?! God save me!!

GRaaaaaaa

Graaaaaa. I learnt a valuable lesson! Never be proud and arrogant that you can do well on your studies better than someone and then bet on it!!! (NOoooo)
Yes I felt promting from my heart that warned me that I will lose the bet but did I listened? Noooo because I thought I would do well especially since I'm soooooo good and have consistent good results in Econs.
Cut long story short, I studied the wrong thing, got lower grades relatively (had to prayyy so hard to at least pass) ended up walking for nearly five hours from Uni to Bondi and back and had to skip church especially when my Indo CG leader and Kenang was coming Hillsongs' night service. Furthermore suffer from blisters and an aching leg the next day. (uwhaaa the pain!!)
Am I ever gonna bet again? Hohoo, you bet! (of course this time I will listen to prompting from my heart and study better!~) (just kidding.... Steph learns things fast!)

Sigh~ God, please grant me an internship with a company... Thanks~

Emotional support?

Last time, with my mum, I'll be like... "Cries cries I dont think I can make it... cries cries might fail... cries cries what happens if I fail..." and feel sad and sorry for myself. (This was last time, mind you, see the difference? You'd better!) And my mum always say "you can do it! You're smart etc". So i'll be leeching on her believing in me to get some emotional support. (hoho and to hear her say nice things about me). But when I go to my dad, he'll be like "HUmpH, my children can all make it one!" and that was stern tone. And I'll be like..sheeshhh cant I just leech off you also? So after that, I dare not say anything self-pityful with my dad! Kena marah man!

Now thanks to that and everything I've learned, I'll be going to them with, "Mum, dad, I wanna do well!! OHOHOOHohoo be successful!!! Weeeee..." and they'll be supportive

So yeah, we all need emotional support now and then. I would always love to help people out because I know everyone need support! Yeah the thing I've learn is that... sometimes, I'm glad my dad give me a GRAAAA~!! and reality check! (ya or I might find someone else willing to take pity on me and hear me lamenting) Cos ultimately, we all have to stand up and walk. Because in the end, people wont always be there to support us no matter how much they want to. Being able to stand up and say HAHA I will fight another day & prove it to you! It's the greatest gift anyone can give me!
So I'll follow what my dad says "it's better to be envied than pitied" Yes yes I love that

Therefore, I will conquer you you !%&@&!&$$~!%!@ work and !%&$@%$!@&! studies! Hohoo.. (anti-climax)

>_<

Lord, I trust that you are the Lord my defender. I trust in you that whatever was spoken to defame me and to draw away support for me, you will deal with it. Thank you

-_-

I'm so glad that my faith in my CG leader is restored.

WHADAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1 Timothy 2:9-15 (King James Version)
11Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13For Adam was first formed, then Eve.14And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.

I read this verse in Ben2's blog and being the strong passionate woman that I am, I went beserk! Wha da is this! Woahh sounds so sexist. EWwwww

So I guess I read it again and try to intepret it. -_-
I would say this is to the babbling woman, not the wise one like mua. Learning silence doesnt mean when it's right to speak, you keep quiet, just means you respect what man says not always try to subjugate him (which is what some woman like to do to show that they are better than man when they actually feel inferior to them.)!
As far as I've learnt, submission to man only applies to MY husband. I'm not gonna stupidly submit to every Tom Dick and Harry on the street. Can you imagine that? I'll be treated like sheeeet. :)
Verse 13.... Eh, didnt Adam also got deceived by listening to his wife. Dont tell me he went "Oh God never told me!"
Verse 14 : What happens if a woman doesnt give birth? Does that mean she's not saved? And what if she is faithful, does charity and 'holiness with sobriety", does that mean that alone will save her? Dont you need Jesus in the picture

Sheeshhhh.... people should be wiser not to take everything IN CONTEXT such as gorge out your eyes if they cause you to sin. DUh! That's why Jesus speaks in parables. You dont take everything literally but you interpret and learn from it. That's my opinion :)

Work work work

Everytime I think of my studies, I can only remind myself how much more I have to do! Yes I will master everything but ... NOoooooo... I still have a lot more to go!!! 2 more case studies and 2 more presentation. (DARN! I dont wanna dress up in suits!)
But it's almost over then it's pure studies! Please God help me!
I WILL HAVE THE BEST HOLIDAY!

I will trust in you

I will trust in you,
like a blank canvas trust the artist
to make him its masterpiece,

I will trust in you,
Like a child trusts her father,
To provide for her

Even when the waters threaten to to swallow me
Or the weigh of the world starts falling over me
You will set me free
I will trust in you.

Hugss

I feel so much better talking and confiding in Christian! Thank you so much for being a true brother in Christ! Love you very very much!! HUGSSSS!

And I had a good time listening about God in Indo! Hohoo one day I can do business with Indonesia! So fun!

What's with Medicine

Yay... I'm gonna blabber blabber again! It's so annoying. When I was in highschool, all those 'smart' people (or those that think they are) wanted to be a doctor. And next to them was those that wanted to be admired too, will want to be a doctor (doesnt matter if they were in Arts stream, saying you wanna do 'medicine' was the 'in' thing). Sure I was also comparable in brain size with 'top students' but I wasnt going to say I wanna do 'medicine' to be 'cool'.
Puh-lease, seeing blood and disease is just gross to me. (can you imagine touching someone with std and then going home and touching your love ones? Gross... so what if you wear a glove? ewww)

And what's with everyone in Malaysia being stereotype that if you sons or daughters were doing medicine, they were the 'smart' kids or the 'admirable, soon-to-be high social status kids' ... these days you just see doctors popping up like mushrooms in Penang just like opening one kopitiam, two kopitiam, three kopitiam....

Hoho... dont think I'm jealous etc. If I wanted to get into medicine, I can. I have the grades to qualify me to medical school in KL (and if I wanted to, I wasnt gonna do it in Australia and spend nearly half a million ringgit to be a normal doctor).

Let's face it, some medical student (especially those from backward slidding economies that still places high value on them) have a sense of pride and arrogance because people actually admire them for doing medicine and line up their daughters to marry them?(what is wrong with some parents? tsk tsk) and the ones that gain 'respect' for no reason except for their vocation, doesnt matter if they havent treat you yet, as long as they are a doctor, they 'save' lives. (let's face it, it's mostly medicine made by chemist, researcher, technology that saves lifes and the surgeon's hands. The doctor tells you whats wrong, just prescribe you something, give you some advice like how many times to take and then you pay him for it) Duh! Simple.

So please....dont crap to me how woahhhh medical students are especially girls that oh so dovey dovey to marry a medical student. (I've seen a skinny-beautiful-girl marry an ugly-money grabbing doctor... what made you sell yourself so low?)
Some people places too much emphasis, value and respect to these people more than they deserve it.

Doing medicine for the right reason is noble. However, dont let that get into your head.

Pride

Proverbs 8:13 The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate.

Pride causes alot of downfalls. Yes even companies can be liquidated (poof gone!) because of it's arrogant rulers (hoho which is shown in my case study about Peregrine Investment). True story! The owners were proud, brash and arrogant and the successful company was in the end reduce to nothing.

Sigh... what have you got to be prideful of? If it wasnt for God allowing good things/abilities/strength to come to you, then you would be an absolute nothing. We are all nothings except what God gives us/ allow us to have and make us to be.

So cast down your pride and humble yourself before God. Even though it was painful to be humbled by God, I believe that in the end, it was worth it because I know now that I know the true meaning of being humble (ok, I have more to learn?) and have a heart for people (instead of thinking I'm better than 'some' people). Thank you for teaching me!

Bottomline: I just feel pityful for him that God will humble. May Grace be with you as well.

White Knight

Someday.... my white knight will save me!!!
White Knight :
A company which comes to the rescue of another listed company which is under siege from an unwelcome bidder. The White Knight may make an improved offer, or it may just be a more acceptable predator than the first bidder, as far as the management are concerned.

Whoa Finance is so romantic!! Finace is my Romance!

Lyrics

When I was just a little girl
My momma used to tuck me into bed and she read me a story
It always was about a Princess in distress
And how a guy would save her and end up with the glory

I'd lie in bed and think about the person that I wanted to be
Then one day I realized the fairy tale life wasn't for me

[Chorus]
I don't wanna be like Cinderella
Sittin' in a dark old dusty cellar
Waiting for somebody, to come and set me free
I don't wanna be like Snow White waiting
For a handsome prince to come and save me
On a horse of white, unless we're riding side by side
Don't want to depend on no-one else
I'd rather rescue myself


Tata Young's Cinderella song says it all!!! You go girl! How come you sing something I'm so pro of!

Selah

You are my hiding place
You always fill my heart with songs
of deliverance
Whenever I am afraid,
I will trust in you
I will trust in you
Let the weak say I
am strong in the strength of the Lord

-_-

Today I studied about exercising your options. Yes options is a derivative, a right to buy/sell stocks at a predetermined price. There's the exercise price, the exercise value bla bla bla... Which reminds me to exercise. Sigh.... whyyyy are you so against me?!

Just thinking about you

Sigh... I'm just thinking about a person I wanna hang out and spend time with ! She's such a blessing to me! Was there when I needed someone to hear me out, advise me and just sit there listen to me kurai. I will always remember her for that! Plus she stays in the same place with me, kept me company when I first came in IH and gave me yummy dessert wine to bring home last year...(-_- Steph ah... you really have to make an effort with people).... Anyways, You go girl! Love ya, Cheryl! Hope you always be the beloved one!

Time to exit

Hmm... sometimes I want time to be faster so I can quickly go back yet I want it slower then I can study more and be well-prepared for exams.
It's great being overseas with the great weather, good friends, experience and learning maturity (not to mention people are so much more laid back and relax here not judging others by wealth or status).
However, too much of something is enough. (especially when youre far away from those you love, support you and other than that, from your normal comfort zone aka shopping centers and hawker stalls in Penang and the 'doing nothing' attitude)
But when I'm back in Malaysia, I felt energized to come back and conquer my studies etc. But after 8 months, that energy is being depleted! I must encourage & energize myself now cos no one is gonna do it for me (Tomorrow I wanna go shopping!)! Hoho! Let's get energized to go back Malaysia and conquer there too (starting with climbing up Penang Hill)! Yes, I am ambitious. (Darn... I miss DDR)

Wohooo

Yes yes yes! Looks like the possibility of me getting internship is almost certain! Thank you God! WOHOOOooooooooooooo

Dont force me

Even the gentlest heart can hardened up. Dont force me to.....

Hurray

Yay! So amzing! Usually I would get knock off really fast! I won 3rd place in Poker today. Got a Jim Beam whisky! Woah it's a game that really helps your heart beat faster! The best thing is, dont bluff if you havent got good hands (although the winner won with alot of bluffing... hoho)
-_-
Time to study! I will study! Do the best I can! Trust God's grace and then fly back to Malaysia!!!
Thanky ou God!

Shallow waters

A long time ago, in my heart, was the desire to be financial well off so that I can be a blessing to others. Hoho I thought it was a vision that I only realise (it just burnt within my heart and I know that if this vision wasnt from God, it would wither and die...), then, today, I remembered something long ago. I was about 15+ and that small little dream I had was imprinted to my heart. Over time I guess I generally grew to have compassion on people.

I really hate it when people see what value is that person to him/her than what value is that person to God. It's all about, how far all my 'connections' can lift me up, open doors for me etc. Yes it's true that God does bless us through 'connections', there was so many times where 'connections' help me through application process, assignments, etc but what matters is what my intentions are in the first place.

Please, I've had my share bit of 'people who befriend you because you are influential' and if they think you dont make an impact/arent influential enough/not at a higher social status, then they just forget about you. That's crap! and I've had my share of them in school, church, uni etc, I know they wont stick to you when it's raining season and I know some dont believe you'll even make it.. It's shallow...

Sigh, I really need a break away from some people.
And what's the point always wanting to be the dominant character in every conversation and be satisfied only when all attention is placed at you? Grow up..

Sigh, it's so much better to come back to IH get a rest, and watch movie with friends and chat with friends instead of playing silly politic games of attention (of putting people down etc) . Why should I be with people that I'm unhappy with at the moment? It's sort of a promise I told myself, you dont like the situation, leave instead of keeping everything inside. Yes, Non-Christian friends are also comforting. Hmmm... maybe it's cos they dont expect kindness from you.

Woah

Uuu.... I have to do this cos Cheryl arrowed me in her blog... cries cries. Sigh.. love life thing again... YAHHH!!!

1. Single,taken or crushing??
Single! Taken by the right person (just have to have God's revelation of who it is!) Other than that, dont care... OHOHOHOHOOohohohooo

2. Are u happy with ur life now?
Yes. Even happier thinking about going back for holiday.

3. When you meet the right person, will you fall with him/her fast?
Dunno... I probably wouldnt notice... haha

4. Have you had your heart broken?
Aiyoooo as if any guy can break my heart. Hoho, just use superglue and paste it back -_-

5. Do you believe there are circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
No. Duh

6. Would you talk to someone back if he/she cheats on you?
No. Wasting my time

7. Have you talk to another person about marriage before?
Ummm... parents? I ask them who they want me to marry. Sigh, why isnt there arraged marriages anymore.

8. Do you want children?
Duh! (but just thinking of how to get the children... gross, sigh luckily they have IVF method this days)

9. How many?
2

10. Would you consider adoption?
I have to have background check on their genes first. Taking on a child can be a blessing or a burden.

11. If someone like you right now, what do you think to let you know his/her feelings?
-_- Just tell me, dont give me useless hints that I dont understand. Hohoho

12. Do you enjoy getting into relationships?
Err... woah! A slave would be cool

13. Be honest. What did you and your ex did?
-_- what ex?

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Eh, I dont believe in liking any guy more than brotherly love unless they confess to me cos... I'm just too dense to get their hints. -_-

15. Are you romantic?
Err... no, I'm very practical. Sigh, I always think of practical things like religion, finance, finance, finance, possesions, borders etc. (is it any wonder I study finance?)

16. Do you believe you can change someone?
No, let God change that someone, I'm too lazy to try.

17. If you could marry somewhere, where would it be?
Where??? You mean HOW MUCH would it be? It's a fairytale wedding, and will cost a ton!

18. Do you easily give in when you're fighting?
No, I fight til I'm right or I cry!

19. Do you have feelings for someone right now?
Yes... myself.

20. Have you ever wish you could have someone but you messed it
No, only myself

21. Have you broken a heart?
Dunno, nobody told me so.

22. One day if your bestfriend fall in love with he/she that you are deeply in love with. What would you do?
Umm... since I dont fall for anyone. Haha you can keep the guy.

23. Are you missing someone right now?
Yes, my family and myself.


-_- .......... Honesty is the best policy

Intern

Dear God, gimme internship please.
Love, Steph

-_-

With God, everything is possible!! I should start dreaming even bigger plans and not limit my mind to what I can do but what God can do. Yeah I should not live in my little shell, unnoticed unseen, I should expect soo much more! (sigh... I wanna win a nobel prize, I wanna be a CEO, Financial economist for a giant MNC, wanna go on missions, set up the most envious family in the world, help broken lives, have Godsons and Goddaughthers- like my mum! ...) XD

Dove advertisement (so nice!) : Yes every girl (and guys... err) is beautiful! And beauty comes from inside out! Instead of focusing on imperfection, why dont you focus on how every creature is one that is created by God, fearfully and wonderfully made!! Then you will see beauty! It's something God put naturally in my heart (which I'm not perfect at yet... HOhoooo). Sigh... I just love people more and more when I see beauty that comes from their souls! Be beautiful!!

What's the problem?!?!?`

WOAHHHHhh... what everyone's problem man?!??! Trying to matchmake me with every other guy! DONTWANTTTT!!!!
-_- Ahh maybe it's the hormones of people this age, or maybe this is the age where everybody finds their 'true love' so they go around teasing people when they haven't... etc.!
WOahhhh I dont want! WOahh I already set up some standardized rule already (which is not legally abiding but ahh it's a guideline)
1. Not interested in CG members. (Yuck! It will just make relationship with my closest friends weird)
2. Aim very high so that people have no one to tease you with (CEO CEO CEO!!)
And if any guy perasan(egoistically think) I like him, please lah let me make this clear, (Unless youre Bill Gates or nearly as rich or smart as Warren Buffet, I'm not considering you!... >_< (Oh ya and you have to have high Christian health!)
OH thanks for inviting me Henny. I LOVE the Indo food. Cheers to the two joker man. 'Son', you should really forget about needing a 'father figure'. Sigh, 'mother's' love is enough lah

Hmmm

Oh here's a little peek at my diary entry, (my real diary... )

February 11, 2006, Saturday
Head over to Thailand. Bought 2 duty free shoes. Tried to visit Dad’s relatives but they weren’t around. Went to eat at Sadao. Dad bought the friend prawns but they were very oily. Som tham was good though. Checked into Lee gardens. Bought beautiful hair accessories and nice boots. Thank God there’s my size and it’s on offer for 400bht. The imported clothes like Esprit are SOO much more expensive. Had a wonderful dinner at Lee Gardens buffet.

February 12, 2006, Sunday
Mum dad had breakfast. Had breakfast at the taklak area. Wantan mee was so-so. Bought earrings and bracelet at taklak. Choose for nearly 1 hour. Exhausted. Went shopping at Big C but too tired already. Went back to sleep then head over to Robinson by foot. Got some *erase* and then went to the night market outside. Had nice laksa, sausage and ice strawberry blend. Yummm. Went to Central to shop. Bought 3 skirts and a shirt, all discounted. Cannot sleep so ordered Hotel friend rice.

February 13, 2006, Monday
Went to eat Japanese food. LOVELY! Did my hair. Cut, hightlight and steam. Wow looks so gorgeous. The lady kept saying to her child, “chia chia suiii” Love the hairstyle. Played with the child. Went to Tesco. Lots of people starring at me…muahahahahahaha… Bought lip gloss and facial blotters for furankku. Had another green tea milk shake by Dairy Queen. Bought two beautiful manik necklace.

>_< Sigh.... I wanna go back Thailand. Does any Thai MNC wanna hire me (with equivalent pay in Aussie dollars.)

El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
El-Elyon na Adonia,
El Shaddai, El Shaddai,
Erkamka na Adonai,
What does this mean?

Finance

You think Bond and Equity are the only thing? You have Bond-callable, convertible and those packaged with warrants. You can exercise the warrant to buy stock, you can choose not to exercise it (in this case, I choose not to exercise SUMOOO), you can convert the bond to equity, you can choose to call back the bond and pay some money then issue a bond with higher yield-to-maturity.
You have stocks, you can have preffered stock where you are preffered to be paid out at a rate and before common stockholders in terms of liquidation but they can still choose not to pay you dividends and you cant do anything about it and you cant vote, you can have common stocks, desire capital gains or dividens. Humph... finance people are so smart. They design so much ways for you to gain (lose) money. -_-
Hmmm, Finance is fun
Back to studying Asian Financial Crisis. (See Finance is so cool! She even has a Crisis named after her, you dont hear Asian Engineering Crisis or Asian Law Crisis or Asian Medical Crisis right? And Econs is cool too, hence the Asian Economic Stability! OHOHOHOooo)

Stock Market

Hmmm.... like a stock market comes crashing down, is what my emotions are going through. Muahahaaa... God, I've had enough of humble pie. Frankly, I'm very full... if I eat anymore, I'm gonna puke. So please please,.... can you keep all the humble pies away from me? I'm very humble already... really... Give me some food for thought.
Time to go home, to be recharged. My Emotional, Spritual, Mental and Physical stock market is at an all time low. Can somebody please buy some stocks? (aka, prayer, encouragemet etc). Next year, I'd rather buy 2 Lauda Air tickets and go back twice then stay here throughout the year (because Im so ego that I can make it! Hwaaa huwaa huaaa! Plus the fact I'm only here 3 years.. might as well make the best of it)
Dear God, sending me here had better be worth everything you want me to be and grow!!
Oink oink.

HOHOo just had a crying session and talking it out with God. Feel much better. Hohoho this stock market has very high value. Ok time for the stock market to run again. Add more Economic Value Added to my growth. (Is it any wonder I'm doing finance?)

Another of the other iddy biddy update

Yeah, I thought I'd flood the blog yet again with vain images of myself! OHOHOHOOoooo! Woah I loved the Tamworth trip so much... after coming back and facing a heap lot notes research and work to do for my upcoming 50% exam (cries!!!!!) I wish I was back there enjoying life...
Picture 1 : OHHH Look... Penang License plate in Tamworth
Picture 2 :Baaa baaa... it's a llama
Picture 3 : The Tamworth Gang
Picture 4 : Penjahat geng, currently our plan is to take over the world... (><>_< )
ARGHHH after Friday I will be freee freee freee (almost)! Woah I need a break... 8 more weeks 8 more weeks to fly back!!

Another iddy biddy update

Tamworth trip was cool! 4 and a half star Serviced apartment! Woah the joy (OH yaa and seeing sheeps... woah, no wonder God choose lambs to be sacrificed during the old testament cos they are just so pure, cute, harmless and timid... of course their "by product of digestion" (sh*t for short) lying around wasnt fun to step on." ) Weee wee
And I keep hanging around the boys that they have accepted me as one of them, men (WHA DA!?!) in fact they named me Steve (Steph for a guy... -_-) and Winsome fondly called me Stephano... AHHHHHHHH !!! GRAAAAAA I hope this dont spread around IH >_< Oh and I love Henny's Bday. Happy bday girl! You are one year older... time to find husband... OHOHOHOOHOOOOOoooo Woahhh so photogenic... Look at my "son"! So cute! Girls... if you want him, send me your resume.
Eto... Tamworth Trip= eat, Henny's Bday = overeat NOOOO!!! Time to exercise. >_<